Interview by Michael Boyd

dialD: Is Dane Cook your real name, or an alias?
Dane: Yes, it is my real name.

dialD: Where are you originally from?
Dane: Boston, MA

dialD: Were you the class clown?
Dane: In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak. I'd rub peanut butter on my face and dance to Disco Mickey Mouse albums to make my family laugh.

dialD: Where did you begin Standup?
Dane: It was right after graduation, I went to Harvard Square open mic night. David Croft was the host, and just randomly pulled names. Well, it was about halfway through the night, and David Croft called out "Ernest Glenn" ... there was a pause, with that pause I knew he wasn't there, or at least not going to go on stage... so I raised my hand and said. "I'm Ernest Glenn!" So, my 1st five minutes of standup was as someone else. I should try to get in touch with Ernest and thank him.

dialD: What are your favorite topics and why?
Dane: Anything. I don't write any of my material down, I like to improvise and be spontaneous. The day of the show, I may see something that I think would be cool to put in the act, like today... "Have you ever seen a mannequin that you'd like to have sex with, man I saw one today... "

dialD: Where do you come up w/ The topics you talk about, i.e. punching people in the face, slip 'n slide, speak 'n spell ?
Dane: Every joke has its origin - The punching people in the face joke. I got into a fight once and you know, it hurts like hell to get punched in the face. But, that split second afterwards there is that sensation that feels sooo good so, I had to talk about it.

dialD: Do you still play Monopoly? w/ your grandma?
Dane: Nope, Grandmother passed away. I played it to humor her because that's what my grandmother really liked to do, is play monopoly. I didn't really HATE monopoly but, I would constantly makes jokes about how much I didn't like it. "I'm on Baltic with CRAP!"

dialD: If you had the chance to "sleep punch" Brittany Spears or Christina Aguilera, which one would get it in the face?
Dane: Christina Aguilera. Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just HOT!! I was jerking off one day, thinking about Britney, my fantasy of her even rejected me.

dialD: Ever think you'd be attacked by bees, tires or get stuck under water that is engulfed in flames? "-Who gets attacked by bees?"
Dane: OK, the bee thing ended up happening. One day, I was near my house walking my dog.. it was really windy and this HUGE gust of wind and a massive dark cloud of bees flew straight towards me! I ducked and dodged to get out of the way & my dog was barking... I was thinking to myself "I am going to be killed by my own act! All the other comedians would laugh at me"

dialD: Do you consider yourself funny or do you think you could always be a little funnier?
Dane: <pauses> Yes, I do think I am funny or I wouldn't be where I am today. I do think there is always room for improvement and learning. So, I can always get better. <chuckles> A lot of my Ex Gfs don't think I'm funny. They're like "don't think you joking can get you out of this one Dane.."

dialD: What Comedian influenced you the most when you were young... besides your bedroom mirror reflection?
Dane: <laughs> All of them. I like fearless characters, people just not afraid to do anything it takes to make people laugh. There are two levels of a comedian.. 1. to make the crowd laugh. And 2. "he doesn't give a shit, he's so funny!" I talk about the shit that makes me laugh!

dialD: What was your worst gig?
Dane: It was at the Rock of Boston. Al and the Monkey's in '93 or '94, it was a huge show. We thought we were the opening act, but we ended up being after the Spin Doctors. <mocks music> We got on stage which was set up for music; not comedy.. Maybe a 3rd of the people could hear us.. all of a sudden, we see lighters going up in the air and the crowd singing. They started throwing stuff- shoes, shirts, lighters cups anything they could get their hands on. I turned around and told the other guys we should get off the stage.

dialD: Have you ever had a person in the audience heckle you while you were on stage, and how did you deal with it?
Dane: Some guy was heckling me, so I told him if he wanted to talk shit for him to get on stage; so he did. He came on stage things happened and I ended up getting in a fight with the guy. The mic volume was already loud to begin with and when I hit him repeatedly with the mic the feedback was soo loouuud...

dialD: Is there a subject you won't joke about?
Dane: No. If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny.

dialD: What are your goals as a performer?
Dane: I am open to whatever comes to mind, things that keep it fresh and new. Directing films, acting...

dialD: Anything specific stand out about your family?
Dane: My fam is just a regular family. But all of them have great senses of humor. Don't heckle me during a show with my mom there, she thinks she is the bouncer, as well as my mother and will toss ya. No B.S.

dialD: What do you do in your spare time?
Dane: Play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.

dialD: The names you use in the skits are they anybody's name in particular... I.e. John, Mike, Timmy, Darryl...
Dane: Usually friends; especially when they are in the audience they say to themselves.. "That's me; he's talking about me, that's my name." When I have a really hot date at a show, I definitely make it a point to use her name. The girls really love that.

dialD: When you travel from town to town to do shows, do you make sure you get time to "people watch" so that you can implement "them" or that town's persona?
Dane: Yes, I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people how they act and such. You have to learn the crowd, I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.

dialD: Would you consider coming to Shreveport, LA to the Funnybone?
Dane: Open to anything.

dialD: In your opinion, what is the best alcoholic drink that makes ugly woman seem hot? ....mine would be The Blind Tiger's - Long Island Ice Tea.
Dane: To tell you the truth, I have never even had a sip of alcohol, never have done drugs.
What about Redbull?
Nope, never had one. I drink a lot of water, especially before and after shows. The hardest thing I have ever done would be, Pepsi. It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that... just never felt I had the need or want.

dialD: How does it feel to be on Comedy Central, and other shows as David Letterman, Jay Leno, Jimmy Kimmel, Craig Kilborn and others...?
Dane: I love it; Feels really good! It was a personal achievement of mine to get on David Letterman. When I got there; I knew things were really happening for me.

dialD: Who is the coolest star you have met so far in your career? Not most famous, coolest!
Dane: Vince Vaughn. He is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.

dialD: What location, venue, or stage is your favorite to perform on?
Dane: Boston, its home, they take pride in people from home. It is such a great place to perform; the people, the fans... Also, some other cool places are- NYC, Miami- Holy Shit. Houston rocks, L.A., Tempe, AZ wow. Tempe is not fucking around, but the only time I'll show there is during school; the women are gorgeous there.
dialD: Yes, I can agree with you, I went to school out there.. WOW, they have some INCREDIBLE looking women there.

dialD: What happens if you're on stage and you have to shit really bad or piss? Do you hurry the routine or just play off of that humorous situation?
Dane: <laughs> That happened once. Man, my stomach was hurting so bad, I just told the audience... "If I just take off, running off stage its because I have to go the restroom.. If I had a cordless mic I would take you to shit with me." Thank goodness it was hittin' towards the end of my act.

dialD: Your brother said you were into graphics.. Where did you go to school?
Dane: I went to a tech college in Boston, I went there for graphics as a back up plan just incase something with standup didn't take off right. Its ended up saving me a lot of money, because I do all my own graphics.. on the web, shirts etc.

Just want to say Thanks to Both Dane and Darryl for making this interview possible.